He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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