u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
