Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
