look no pants
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
