belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
