I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
