my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
