also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
