Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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