Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
