How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
