Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize