I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
