Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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