I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
