She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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