Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
