butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yo dont text me then not text me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
