Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
