The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
