You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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