There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
