who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
there's paper in my vomit.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
