I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I can't turn off my feet"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
