Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
