how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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