he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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