During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
