i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This is not my ceiling
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
