you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
