you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
