im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
