And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
