Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
