How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
