do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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