I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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