I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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