I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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