just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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