So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
