is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
