Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize