He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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