ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize