Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
