Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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