btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
