Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
