gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
