I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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