So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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