Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
