And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize