South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
