Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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