at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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