I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
