Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
