Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
