New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
