Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
