No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
