yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
