fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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