matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm having to shit out rocks
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