If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
