You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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