she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
