Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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