god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize