I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
