Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
