Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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