I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
