It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Farmville is her only friend.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
